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Bravoholics Anonymous

Money can’t buy you class, but it can buy you tickets to Bravocon.

By Ally Quirk

My first BravoCon has officially come to a close, and all I have with me until next year are my cherished memories, a suitcase full of merch, and the 400+ new photos and videos on my camera roll. While I began nursing my BravoCon hangover, which would soon last for 4 days, I thought to myself what better way to relive the entire ordeal than by recapping every. last. detail.

You may be asking yourself how I found myself in attendance at such an affair. Let’s just say I have been a Bravo consumer for basically my whole life; more passively in my single-digit years whilst honing in on my mom’s “me time,” and then really revving it up once her weekly rotation included Vanderpump Rules. I was hooked. From then on, my mom has been my Bravo partner-in-crime; the Sonja to my Luann, the Paige to my Amanda if you will. And unlike many of our brave soldiers, Erin and I decided to only partake in a 1-day BravoCon experience, as opposed to the much more radical 3-day jaunt. Those people deserve a medal.
I began my day by (somehow) jolting awake without an alarm and with just enough time to make it to our first panel of the day. Erin and I’s double room at the Moxy came fully equipped with bunk beds (fun), and I had the pleasure of occupying the top bunk. Therefore, my pounding headache from the night before was accompanied by a vertical wooden ladder I soon had to descend (not so fun). Despite these obstacles, nothing cures a hangover like free hotel coffee, a few edibles down the hatch, and a brisk march to the Javitz Center for BravoCon.

Upon arrival, we waltzed speedily through the entrance line before Erin got a swift pat down and we were off to the “Don’t Be Tardy” stage (I die) for the Project Runway panel featuring Christian Siriano, Elaine Welteroth, and Bravolebs such as Dorit Kemsley, Paige Desorbo, Chanel Ayan, and Teddi Mellencamp strutting down the runway and recapping their most iconic (and not so iconic) looks over the years. Perhaps it was the sisterhood in the air, the full bar in the back, or Dorit’s head-to-toe Versace look. Whatever it was, we were home!!

Panels

Erin and I were big fans of the panels we attended at BravoCon. Most of the ones we went to did not have a line because A) they were not full, and B) we never showed up on time or felt the need to queue up for a panel ahead of time. In hindsight, we should have done this for a few panels in advance as we did miss the Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip panel, one of which we were excited about. Since we had just been waltzing into panels 15 minutes late all day and getting pretty reasonable seats considering our tardiness (for the party-ness), we assumed this would be the case at every panel. However, this one must’ve been so packed that they literally were not opening the doors once it began. EVA MARCILLE ONE DAY WE WILL MEET. 💔

Side note: VIP tickets grant you access to shorter lines for panels (VIP is a separate line) and you get to sit much closer to the stage, I would guess the first 20 rows are all reserved for VIP ticket holders.
Overall, the panels are a great way to see your favorite Bravolebs addressing their seasons, squashing rumors, answering questions, or even performing an impromptu performance of their song from a decade ago (eek). And if you’re lucky, you’ll get to catch a never-before-seen trailer for upcoming shows or seasons.

Shopping: Official BravoCon branded merch booth & The Bravo Bazaar

Bravo knows their consumer; we like to shop. The venue was kitted out with Official Bravo merch stations (one main one, and a few smaller booths throughout) with t-shirts, mugs, baby onesies, and a Bravo-branded letterman jacket that was just as much iconic as it was impractical. There are even a few pieces still up for grabs here!

THEN we have The Bravo Bazaar. This area was complete with a ton of smaller booths, each owned by a Bravoleb’s brand. It was glorious. From Loverboy, Sewing Down South, SHE BY SHEREÉ, Brooks Marks’ tracksuits; you name it, they had it. This area was absolute chaos in the best way. With Meet & Greet lines slithering around the room, patrons frantically whipping out their wallets, and even the occasional Bravoleb making their way in to check out their booths and take photos with fans. This was not only a great place to get your shopping fix—I picked up not one, but TWO Countess Luann prayer candles (???), but we also basically brushed arms with some of our faves like Tom Sandoval, Andrea Denver, and even the Countess herself.

Bravoland

Where do I even begin with Bravoland? IYKYK. In Smithsonian-level detail, Bravoland was quite literally a museum. We began by strolling through a plethora of Bravo TV history from shows like “The Rachel Zoe Project” and “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” (two of my personal favorite TV shows as a child). The winding pathway then led us by various Bravo relics such as Andy’s cue cards from reunions’ past, the infamous blue bunny, the original SUR uniforms, sprinkle cookies (really), and more. There were also some of my favorite photo-ops to take part in like throwing Leah’s tiki torches, sprawling out in Luann’s bush (LOL), and Andy’s shotski. Bravoland was such a highlight of mine, and I can’t wait to see what they come up with for next year. I’m imagining nothing shy of Disney’s Epcot.

Side note: We almost did not even step foot in this area because it was kind of tucked away beyond the food court. We had no idea there was another area until we had a lull in our schedule and decided to add another few thousand steps to our day’s count. Lesson learned: study the map beforehand!

Photo-ops

Apart from the photo-ops at Bravoland, the entire venue was fully equipped with every Instagrammable opportunity imaginable (again, Bravo knows their consumer). There were set-ups where you could mimic a slow-motion Vanderpump Rules-esque cocktail pour, pose on a tiny Project Runway set, steer a Below Deck yacht, and so on. These were cool because the professional(ish) photos or videos would be texted straight to your phone, buttt they generally had pretty long lines so we didn’t really do any of them. At one point we were like 574th in a virtual line for something. Pass.

On the other hand, there were plenty of other photo-ops that we could walk right up to and there were even employees to snap photos of us. These spots included a Winter House ski-lift chair, Dorinda’s fish room brought to us by Peacock, the Real Housewives of Lay’s sequin backdrop with golden potatoes to hold, and so on. BravoCon even did a great job of making all of the signage a great photo-op by featuring a Bravoleb alongside one of their quintessential quotes. The attention to detail!!

Food/Drink

The food options were not unlike those at a regular convention, but let’s be honest, no one’s coming to BravoCon for the food. The drinks, however, proved to be the perfect opportunity to weave yet another inside joke into the fabric that is BravoCon. Although “Carcass Out” à la Dorit was my personal favorite, “You Stole my God Damn Margarita” deserves major recognition. One never has to worry about being thirsty at BravoCon, unless you’re Jill Zarin, of course. There are bars in the back of each auditorium and basically throughout the entire venue. Drinks were reasonably priced and strong, although I do believe the opportunity was missed to feature Loverboy, Vida Tequila, Ramona Pinot, TropHop, (Fosé anyone??) more prominently. I understand that sponsoring BravoCon may cost a pretty penny, but with all of the alcohol brands owned by Bravolebs (I mean really, there’s got to be at least 10) you’d think an exception could be made.

There were also opportunities throughout the venue to snag complimentary snacks and drink samples, my personal favorite being the Real Housewives of Lay’s booth featuring 3 different recipes using Lay’s potato chips as the main ingredient. I am a relatively picky eater, so say the words “potato chip-based” and I’m there. The menu included Kyle Richard’s “Party Splits,” Dorinda Medley’s “Golden Lasagna,” and Melissa Gorga’s “She Brought Me Sprinkle Cookies.” Each amuse-bouche was dusted in edible gold glitter and was just what the doctor ordered. Honestly. My compliments to the chef!

Bravopalooza

Later in the day as we chatted it up with a pair of our row mates at the “Cocktails at Schwartz and Sandy’s” panel, we became aware of Bravopalooza. The chatty Kathys from Neenah, Wisconsin recounted the best parts of their weekend as Erin and I nodded along and took vigorous mental notes for next year. The highs of their BravoCon? Andy’s Legends Ball (duh), and Bravopalooza, a 1-hour secluded “hang out” with complimentary hors d'oeuvres and cocktails, while a handful of Bravolebs come in and out to chat and take selfies. Our new besties said each Bravopalooza was limited to around 30-50 people so it was a great time to actually hang out with the castmembers without having to wait in line for hours or get clawed in the back by a woman wearing a “Not well, bitch.” t-shirt. Upon further inspection, BravoCon does cost extra but Kathy and Kathy sure made it sound worth it.

Watch What Happens Live

A must-do in my opinion, sitting in the audience for a live taping of “Watch What Happens Live” with Andy Cohen was one of my favorite parts of BravoCon. Tickets do cost extra, but it sure is worth it if you’re on the fence. Andy brought out about 20 Housewives including Dorinda Medley, Brandi Glanville, Phaedra Parks, Lisa Barlow, Erika Jayne, Shereé Whitfield, Kenya Moore, Vicki Gunvalson, and MORE. It was very cool to see the behind-the-scenes production of a live show, as well as participate in the “oohs” and “ahhs” to the best of our ability. Also, the drinks were great and we got to keep our BravoCon plastic wine glasses! Score. Erin and I sat in one of the front rows of the upper level and it was perfect. Maybe next time I’d like to be on the floor level because I’m a whore for the spotlight and want to be on live TV (the cameras can’t really see us folk on the upper levels at all). Next time I’d also like to be in attendance at “Andy’s Legends Ball,” (the WWHL filmed on the first night of BravoCon with practically all of the Bravolebs) but beggars can’t be choosers.

Hot Goss

Now let’s get into the Craig of it all. Although BravoCon ended for most on the third day, a certain few of us decided to keep the party going. Erin found out upon checking in that Monsieur Craig Conover of Southern Charm, Winter House, and most notably, Paige Desorbo’s beau, would be hosting a book signing in the lobby of our hotel on the 4th, unaffiliated day of BravoCon. A last hoorah, if you will.
I had never intended on purchasing “Pillow Talk,” (punny but ew) by Craig Conover with Blake Dvorak, let alone a hardcover version. Yet here I was with the latter, SIGNED “To Ally + Erin” on the first page. It was about an hour into the signing when we arrived and there was one short king in line ahead of us. Score. Craig’s assistant convinced Erin to buy a book (justified by the amount of Apple Cash she has on her phone, “free money” as she calls it), and we only had to wait like five minutes to chat it up with Craig and his crew, snap a pic, and be on our way. Despite how I feel about this man on television, he was very pleasant and super nice in person. I can only imagine how badly he didn’t want to be there after participating in three back-to-back days of BravoCon. Heck, we could barely survive one day.

All-in-All

I have to give BravoCon a solid 9/10. I know some kinks had to be worked out on the first day, but by the time we got there, things seemed to be running smoothly. Next time I would probably still only go for one day, do Andy’s Legends Ball, and splurge on a Bravopalooza or two.

Let it be known that Bravoholics are a passionate people. And we like to drink. At some point, you might get cut in line, your view may be obscured, and you WILL get manhandled by a sea of women when they announce the empty VIP seats are up for grabs. If you do ever find yourself at BravoCon, go in with an open mind, wear comfortable shoes, and most definitely whoop it up.